The Best of Times and The Worst of Times

We have established that a person with good character has an easier time keeping good friends. No matter how good a person's life is, they always need people to care for and to have others care for them. Although it is a good thing to have friends, time and proximity limit us to having only a few close friends even if we were all perfect people. We should strive to make the best of our friendships regardless of the limiting factors.

It is hard to have many close personal relationships since conflicts occur when one or the other has a need. If one person is mourning and the other having fun, how should we act? So it often gets down to there being a certain person that we give our ultimate love to. We see soldiers and politicians who have a right hand man and see those who are "Partners in Crime" or "Evil Twins". History is full of them. People tend to pair up due to the limitations of proximity and time. We can  have few close friends due to the same limitations. A person who claims to have numerous close relationships would be expected to also have shallow ones because they would have to spread themselves too thin to realistically be close to that many people. The extreme of this would be a people-pleaser who becomes a slave to feeling well liked.

We do need friends in bad times and good. In bad times a friend can be a help and we seek those who are useful. A friend can be pleasant during these times and can also share our burdens. It is nice to have someone who empathizes with us. In good times it is nice to have a good person to enjoy them with and to give help to. It is better to be a person who avoids burdening others with our problems and also better not to take advantage of someones good fortune. So the ideal friends will be there to rely on for support but a good person will avoid using it unless becomes necessary.

A good friend will insist on helping someone they are close to when they grieve even when they aren't asked.. It is also pleasant to enjoy what one has with someone who not only appreciates it but is enjoyable to be around. So there is also a balance to enjoying another person's good fortune too. A person should be ready to share his good fortune with his friends while avoiding troubling them with his problems. A good friend will be ready to help others without being asked yet hesitate to ask for help. Unsolicited help is always the best kind. If it is asked for, someone loses the satisfaction of offering. In the same way, with good fortune, it is best to have someone offer to share since they enjoy sharing rather than because they were asked (or demanded) to help out.  We can conclude in all of this that it is good to have friends in all circumstances.

We will conclude friendship and head on into a study of pleasure in the next post. The discussion of pleasure is the start of book ten and the end of the entire study of Ethics.