Who Needs Friends?

We have been working our way through Aristotle's notes on ethics. Let's finish the subject of self-love and then answer the question of why we need friends in the first place. We have concluded that the kind of selfishness that is criticized is that which has to do with passions and appetites; the things everyone craves and compete for. A person with healthy self-love goes after what is noble by doing what he ought; the things that are best for everyone especially himself. The ultimate love is when a person endangers his life to protect others. This person loves himself but doesn't choose a life of doing small mundane noble acts. His wants a life that goes beyond simple acts of doing what he ought. It doesn't mean that a person dislikes himself if he puts himself in harms way for a noble purpose. It is because he values both his life and the life of his friends and is willing to take the risk of losing his own life in the process of defending them. This is the ultimate act of love and nobility.

Since the ultimate good person has everything he needs and has self love, it begs the question, "Why would he need friends?"  It is easy to observe that friends fulfill needs for each other but absent needs, why have them? There seems to be a contradiction. We don't want to say that we have friends only to fill a void in our lives. Having friends helps when we are lacking but the goal is to prosper and so if someone reaches this goal, who needs friends? The greatest of our external goods are our friends and a view that they exist only to be helped or for us to help them leans toward a utility type relationship. These are necessary and good for us to accomplish things and are based on usefulness. If we are lacking nothing yet still want friends then they must serve another purpose. A person who is a hermit isn't considered someone who has reached ultimate happiness. It gets back to the principle that those who love life, want to celebrate it with others. In particular, we seek out someone who has the same values that we can celebrate it together with.

A content person in this way doesn't need pleasures or usefulness in a friend. He desires someone who loves life in the same way that he does. They enjoy living together first while adventures and needs are bonuses. The activity of living together and seeing the world together at whatever level they can is enough. Perception and thinking together are the most important part of being a human. Humans don't herd together like animals just to fulfill their appetites.

Since life is desirable, experiencing life with someone else who perceives it the same is even more desirable. So those who love each other will get a thrill out of sharing and discussing the world around them. A person who is happy and confident will have a need to share it with someone else on the same level. The sharing itself is the reward.