Expectations

When we consider justice in a relationship, we are looking at expectations. Knowing what a friendship is based on helps us to understand expectations. Utility based relationships can be described as one that has the exchange of needs. Each person has areas of their lives that the other fills. This is kind of exchange ranges from contracting to counseling; it can be financial or emotional. When one has the need and the other a supply, the relationship continues. We call this being dependent on one another. In a pleasure based relationship we are talking about one person giving pleasure to another. One has a need and the other is willing to give. This ranges from ready witted and those we party with on to those who give sensual pleasure. As long as the exchange can continue, this friendship continues. They depend on each other to provide for needs of pleasure.

What kind of friends will a completely secure and independent person need?  It would only follow that secure people will have the strongest relationships since the variables mentioned above aren't there.  If a person is content and happy, what are the needs to base the friendship? Secure people have friendships for enjoyment. Everyone wants to enjoy life. They want to share things with someone else and have fun.  A person of commonality is someone they enjoy the most and it is hard to have a misunderstanding of expectations in commonalities.

It would be nice if we were all a strong secure ideal person. But realistically, we all have needs on different levels and having needs isn't bad.  We have friends to help us. These people are useful to us and this isn't a bad thing either; as long as both people are honest about expectations. But if one isn't living up to the expectations of the other, resolution has to come to restore the friendship. Either the expectations are unrealistic or the person needs to step up.  That is where honest communication is important to see in what areas expectations need lowered or if the amount of action needs raised. When both feel the exchange is equal, there is justice and contentment.