Driving

A good example to understand these principles is driving. We don’t get mad because people are selfish and have a destination but we find ourselves assigning motives to people. If we become absorbed in getting to our destination without considering other drivers, it makes driving miserable. There is nothing wrong with getting where we are going but it can be enjoyed when we consider that other people are just after the same thing. They sometimes get over-zealous as we do and there is no sense in getting angry about it. Anger in this case is bad for the blood pressure and causes us to make bad choices. Putting immediate pressure ahead of wellbeing can be dangerous and miserable.

These principles aren't meant to be condescending or a way to point fingers but the more we understand, the better equipped we are to deal with ourselves and others.  There are different personalities that can handle certain things. You would be surprised how many former truckers I know that just couldn't handle other drivers any more. I've met nurses that lost compassion and became teachers. There are alcoholics that cannot handle even one drink. Each person mentioned is a good person but recognizes their limitations. I don’t condemn them since I have my own.

When a limitation is recognized, the worst thing to do is to go in denial and allow it to cause major damage to one's own wellbeing. It is wise to back away to gather our wits. This is key to avoiding spirals in life. Each person has unique passions with potential to either cause damage to their lives or enhance their lives. It doesn't mean we should avoid passion and shelter ourselves, but learning how to deal with it can be a process. There are times when the best way is to overcompensate for a while and then come back with a different approach. Some things have to be avoided altogether. The former is the best approach and the latter more difficult. It is better to keep driving than to stay home.